Part 214: Addendum III: Gettin’ Smashed
Addendum III: Gettin’ SmashedHey, everyone! As you probably know already, Joker was announced as the newest Smash Bros. character a good four months ago, and they finally put him in last week! Coincidentally, I had all my wisdom teeth ripped out last Friday! The original plan was to write this update while hopped up on some druuuuuugs, but they didn’t give me the good shit and I stayed pretty lucid in the hours that followed! Lame!
I went and bought Joker when the eShop updated, which was easier said than done, because...
The servers were on fucking fire. I eventually managed to get through...
though updating the game itself was another trial.
I eventually managed to get in...
Very slowly.
All right, we did it! Though something about this render kinda creeps me out. The actual P5 models don’t look all that great but the way they’re shaded looks pretty neat. This art style just looks funky to me.
And some other new stuff, too! We’ll see what it is in a moment.
Oh, jesus christ, the new stage is Mementos. Kill me.
We can pick from 11 songs here from Personas 3, 4, and 5. The red triangle in the corner indicates it’s a new mix created just for Smash, and all three of those are pretty great. Why include Our Beginning, though? No Wiping All Out or Life Will Change? At least we got Rivers in the Desert, I guess.
Mementos is honestly a pretty cool stage. Besides the great Persona music, there’s trains flying through the bottom that can knock you back if they hit you (as you can see in that picture where Villager is about to build a literal house on my ass), and walls and ceilings will appear randomly. As you may notice during this, the other Phantom Thieves will also appear in the background, just… hanging out. Sure.
And if you use a P3 or P4 song, the colors will change too!
Time for some good, old-fashioned violence.
Joker’s default special is GUN. No bullet counter though, thankfully. He can dodge in the middle of a gun combo, for the record, and punish recoveries in the air with downward fire.
Side special is Eiha, a Curse move that deals low damage (but will inflict damage over time).
Joker’s up special is a tether, which is good because he’s pretty broken. He’ll throw out a grappling hook that can grab the edge of the stage or even opponents and pull them (though he can only do the latter from the ground).
Down special is a counter, but not really. Taking damage while using it (you can hold it down, as well) will make you take half damage and not get knocked back, while charging his character gauge. Enemies will get knocked back when the B button is released.
He can also bring out Morgana when he taunts!
Filling his character gauge will automatically summon Arsene.
Arsene adds power to all his moves, including smashes.
Gun becomes a three-hit burst.
Eiha becomes Eigaon, which does a lot more damage and damage over time.
The grappling hook becomes a huge flying leap with invulnerability.
Finally, his “counter” becomes a true counter, Tetrakarn/Makarakarn, each activating for physical/projectile attacks automatically.
Let’s see his Final Smash, now.
0(Note, in case this narrowly misses, he can flick the analog stick in the other direction to go back that way for another shot)
It’s an All-out Attack, and it’s pretty dope. Wish they got the font right, though.
There’s also another version with the other Phantom Thieves in there.
Joker gets a special victory screen that replicated P5’s. They put way too much work into this.
And just like in the game, winning from an All-out Attack will go straight to the victory screen.
Two of his eight colors are dedicated to his Shujin uniform.
Poyo!
Lastly, let’s check out the new Spirit Board and see what fights they devised.
There are 11 new Spirits here, and they get pretty clever. Most of that cleverness comes down to how they represent the various Personas of the cast.
Morgana is a tiny Pikachu with a giant Incineroar helper representing Zorro. The Incineroar can create strong tornadoes with his Ore Club, in addition to the strong winds that will naturally populate the stage. It’s chaos.
Ryuji is a Captain Falcon with a Home-Run Bat, plus a giant Mii Gunner wearing a pirate hat. Obvious.
Ann is a Zero Suit Samus, plus a giant Peach with a Fire Flower. Also obvious.
Yusuke is Chrom (it’s not just blue hair, they share voice actors in both English and Japanese, heh) plus a giant Dedede representing Goemon.
Also, there’s a Vince assist trophy who’ll paint all over you!
Makoto is a Sheik. This is probably my favorite of the bunch, because they represent Johanna by having an invisible Wario summoning constant motorcycles.
Futaba doesn’t have a “helper” representing Necronomicon (if only Kirby’s UFO move had made it in), instead having Doctor Wily and some Boss Galaga assistance
Haru is a Villager (awwwwwww) with a giant Daisy with a Super Scope as Milady. Also, “veggies” will constantly spawn to heal you. I also just realized we’re supposed to be on Shujin’s roof.
Goro is a Marth with a giant Pit as Robin Hood. Also your controls will keep reversing to… represent his deception? I got nothing.
Caroline and Justine are Ice Climbers (natch) with a time limit. You’ll also take damage at certain intervals.
Igor is three Ridleys and a Robin, you’re at 300 percent, and will be greatly healed every several seconds. I didn’t know what the Ridleys were, but someone theorized they’re the guillotine…
...because they keep doing this.
Final fight is a marathon against the Phantom Thieves, all the previous fights (minus the Personas). It’s pretty crazy.
They’ll just keep appearing, one after the other.
Save me Haru!
Anyway, that’s the rundown on Joker. I’m not going to go into what the various spirits do because